Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize