Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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