You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize