I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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