just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
