I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
