I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
