the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
