Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
