Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
