he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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