You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
