what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
