from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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