the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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