i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
