very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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