Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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