We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize