I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
