just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
