After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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