So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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