what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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