i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
