we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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