He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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