summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
