Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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