matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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