i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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