I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
