is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
