Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
