Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ladies don't puke and tell
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize