we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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