The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
