One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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