I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
