im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
