So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
