TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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