How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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