Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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