everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
