what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize