pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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