and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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