I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
