can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
