i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He has the fingertips of a God
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