I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
