so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
