This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
