Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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