If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize