the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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